The Duality & Unity of being T
Alice wants to step thru the looking glass but...
This is from a freind on facebook that wanted to contribute their thoughts about coming out as transgender. She asked that her name not be used due to, and her words, "I've been down this road once before when I thought that I was gay and told them - obviously it wasn't acceptable and I was cut out of their lives for many years." So as she requested her name is being withheld. A short piece, but I thought others going thru a similar decision could related and maybe some can share words of encouragement.
Contributed by Anonymous Feb. 10, 2013
How do you say, I love you; but, I love me more? What does it take to get to that place in your life when you actually feel the love for yourself without guilt? Guilt for wanting to be yourself. Guilt for wanting to finally be true to yourself. Guilt that you’re unable to be honest about who you truly are to the ones that you love the most. What if they don’t accept you? Will they cut you out of their lives? The pains and struggles of being transgender are more complex than most individuals realize.
Coming out of the closet is easier said than done. Everyone says, “if they truly love you, they will not abandon you”. Is this true or just an easy answer that flows so easily from someone else’s lips? The idea of the difficulties that allow transgender individuals to succeed and feel true happiness, is it reality or a frightening nightmare?
Struggles of acceptance, the financial struggles, the struggles of fear of being alone, and what about the pure fear of being a “HOT MESS”?
Even in the LGBT community, judgment is a daily occurrence. Why would anyone want to step out into a community that continually denies your existence? A community that would rather make rude comments and not listen or try to comprehend that being transgender isn’t a choice, just as being gay or lesbian isn’t a choice. We are all looking for acceptance and to be denied this in a community that supposedly is inclusive is frightening.
Fear seems to take hold and the excuses come so easily.
Family comes in many forms, whether by blood or through undeniable friendships. Why do we care so much about the acceptance of our blood relatives? The anxiety creates a pure hell for us to live within; but, dreaming of the unconditional love offered by a mother or a father and being accepted for yourself is it a fairy tale?
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