Love or the attempt their of, transgender style, rarely do I see anyone with answers much less bringing the issue up.  Maybe because it would require a PHD in Psychology, Philosophy and having an MBA wouldn’t hurt either.  Recently a Face book friend asked me for love advice.  After I closed my mouth from hanging for five minutes, shocked someone would dare risk asking me, she asked.  “How do you deal with loving someone from a far and how do you tell him you wanted him for eight years?”  Easy question right, that should result in an easy answer?   I put on my best Oprah/Dr. Phil/ Rachel Ray hat, along with countless other advice talk shows I’ve watched over the years desperately searching for the answers myself.  With my best reply, “If he never knows, how sure are you how he’ll react?  If it could end your friendship or could be dangerous, tread lightly.  Try showing in many different ways your love for him thru actions, like having him over for your best home cooked meal.  You could invite him over for a movie night, something slightly romantic, but with enough fighting your chosen man want fall asleep.”  She seemed to take ‘my advice’ pretty well.  I did hold back what I would’ve told myself to do.  Just say, hey, I always thought you were so cute.  If a man can’t get a hook from that line, well he’s not really fishing.

     Why the entire extra work though?  It’s obviously not strictly a Tran’s thing.  My best friend’s a genetic female ,can’t keep a guy for more than six weeks.  She’s fifty so it’s not from lack of trying.  With all the relationship magazines we’ve all grown to ‘love’ over the years; Cosmo, Mrs. Etc., means there is  an obvious market for all women, Trans or otherwise.  My face book friend did get me to wonder one thing.  Why are we so overly cautious of opening ourselves up to men?  Fear of rejection?  What Transperson can’t handle that?  Not being loved for who we are?  By twenty-five hopefully you’ve gotten over that by now and love yourself.  He already knows the ‘T’ so this should be easier now right?  And it’s not as if there is a supply shortage of men for any Trans female, passable or not-from post-op to cross dresser, of men that like our special specialty and the many forms thereof.  No and not thinking the obvious, get minds out of the gutter.  With that in mind there does seem to be a lack of range of guys to choose from?  There’s the, ‘I’ve never tried a TS before, so you must be waiting in life to let me experiment on you’ type.  Then you have the ‘I know how difficult life must be for you, you poor third world human, so let me take care of you.  You will be my project’, guy.   Let’s not forget the one who knows you work and go to school as a female undetected but insists, ‘Let’s keep this in indoors particularly the bedroom’, Casanova.  Which is basically the same as the ‘I know, so everyone else must know,’  who spends all the time with you at the mall, while shopping, as if he works with the Secret Service and you’re the first lady.  Sweetheart I’m sure the only one drawing attention here is you, take a valium dude and hand me those red Miu Miu’s.  Southern men, particularly S.C. men are the worst at that and the reason I only date Yankees, cowboys, island boys or from another country all together.

     Seems we have so many eligible ‘Trannie Chasers’ to choose from what’s a girl to do.   Depending on the year, the alignment of the stars, those at times are the best candidates.  The only southern men I have dated were Trans men, and with all respect and love for my Trans brothers, I’m so running from the next Trans man that has just started Testosterone treatments.  You guys stay hornier than a 13 year old boy just discovering an orgasm.  I guess this may be me, now asking for advice.  What must a girl do when every guy from eighteen to seventy-five want to head straight to bed and with the attitude that  this is the reason I started transitioning,  Just here on earth to get them off.  Guess, what I must be looking for is a nice Jewish boy who plans on being a Rabbi until my SRS and then only wants it twice a week.   Until then ladies, all I can do is recommend some interesting dating sites.  At least I admit these have a slight higher caliber of men, but always be aware of the previous mentioned clichés.  You can only count on one out of ever twenty five being real and decent pretty much on any online dating site.  If you have anymore to suggest do help us other t-girls who are feeling limited.  With that said happy fishing ladies and remember when you throw your line into fish, it’s you fishing for him not the other way around.  It’s your choice who you choose not his.  It’s a sistah’s world not a mister’s.

Sabrina Samone, TMP